Pushed of a Cliff.

You may be just a sinner,
looking for the perfect weaponry disposal.
Hiding all the sticks and stones
somewhere beneath my breaking bones.
You figure out how to dissect me
in a laboratory tray.
We weren't meant to ever bend
we weren't meant to ever break.
I watch you to see if you'll burry me alive
but you cannot when you fear that i may return the smile.
We both have the murder weapons feeding from our black hands
but our hearts and minds are pure and that is how we're meant.
silently i make a choice
silently i count the possibilities.
Silent so you can't here me.
It would kill us both to know.

Changes

A comeback
The retro self-sick attack from the 80's
with a twist of lime.
A little kick...
maybe two.
Making the old familiar touch
into a new hold.
Reversing what turned
in our stomachs,
in our heads,
in the neighbor's poor excuse for a garden.
Pick the tulips - Plant the Daisies
but do not believe that it is a different yard.
The same soil,
The same location,
the same can of "Dew", just a better taste...
assuming you let your pallet adjust to these new sensations,
letting the colors mix.
Together we can paint a colorful path to walk down.
Da Vinci has a notebook
of many things unseen.
His attempts at a Starry Night
made it all the more beautiful.
Painting, Planting, or momentary Passion (possibly lifelong)
it all takes Patients.

My Box.

You remember it from that look they gave you,
That disappointment reinforcing you to your box.
Often times the one you would ride down the staircase,
the bump of each step hurt a little bit it was safer than being with them.
Nobody looks you in the eye anymore,
at age three you broke their trust... at age five it still remains in pieces,
but we have every intention of fixing it... tomorrow,
or the next day.
Maybe you can't belong, you've been nothing but honest.
Maybe they can only trust you when they shouldn't.
It's all apart of the silly human desire to consume every bit of tragedy.
To destroy something honest in true in their eyes, in their hearts...
I am not meant for this world.
I have too much love...
and nobody can comprehend that for some reason.
So I'm turning my box into a rocket ship, and I'm not coming back.

Rest, Assured

I find it hard standing close to the blonde vents of distress.
I'm not meant for the furnace, cause it all seems worthless
when it comes to the loveless dance that you're oh so proud of
I'm never going to let my heart be tangled up in you
I don't want to mean anything to you.

I never tried when you were looking, but i'm trying all the time
that's why i'm under hear without a wink or a smile.
but thank those coaches for driving here.
This way i won't get to close
I'm a smaller element of you.

Rest assured that i'm not coming home
Rest your head, Rest your Head
So when i look up to the stars
and pretend they brought us
I can remember how my imagination always brings me down
I can see you standing
at the end, over me, over my.
I told you not to come here, let me rest in pieces

I've never felt a hand more cold and clammy before
it's a shame that i'm a sucker for the lifeless
Can you keep me from choking on my own stories
cause i don't want to be here
it's a shame i'm put here with you

Rest assured that i'm not coming home
Rest your head, Rest your Head
So when i look up to the stars
and pretend they brought us here
i can remember how my imagination always brings me down
I can see you standing here
at the end, over me, over my.
I told you not to come here, let me rest in pieces

if i wake up than i'll claw my way out
it'd be a bloody mess if i stopped dreaming
i'm trying to sing the phrases i used to
but it's difficult to sing when you're not breathing

Rest assured that i'm not coming home
Rest your head, Rest your Head
So when i look up to the stars
and leave those suits in black that carried me
I can remember that i have an imagination of what's up there
when you're standing here
at the end, over me, over my, over me, over my, over me, over my...
with the murder weapon that left me in pieces.
Rest Assured That i'm gone.

I'm just too Small

Why do I write these words down, If they do not benefit to this world.
And better yet, If you hold my hand, Where do we fit in this universe
And How come everytime i feel important
I feel so small to the stars above
How come everytime i tell you what you mean to me
you forget all about my love

I remember trying to save you from drowning, a sea of blue, no land in sight
But i pulled you into my loving arms so you could have something in the night
How come everytime we come so far
we fall short of the finish line
How come everytime i forget about you
I have to see your eyes

I'm just too small
I'm just too small

The creatures on my left hand, have a different view from the ones on my right
They do not know the other exists but the go on with their pathetic lives
How would they act if they knew eachother
and how nothing happens when we're done
How do they feel living in my skin
knowing they can't change who i've become.

They're just too small
They're just too small

Maybe someday i'll know just who i am
I will know that the world is coming to an end
Not just the world but all the things i can't find
All the things i've hear about that leave me behind

We're just too small
We're just too small

We need eachother.

Under the Oak Tree (rewritten as a song)

We seemed to stay quiet about those moments under the oak tree,
but I know it was not the branches that had sworn us to secrecy,
It was a seed planted by our own wicked minds, and a guilty conscience...
and for no reason, because it's branches never harmed us.

The leaves fall there every winter,
and on the branches, snow,
but it always melts away in the spring
and our hearts they always grow.

Damn you for digging your fangs in our soil sucking the life out of this very spot.
Our dreams under the oak tree still hide but the reality does not.
It was our fault for leaving and now we can never learn
because It's shade is for another love, a love we never were.

The leaves fall there every winter,
and on the branches, snow,
but it always melts away in the spring
and our hearts they always grow.

Tomorrow Can you come Home?
Tomorrow Can you come Home?
To sit under the oak tree...

Drawing Lines

Standing in front of us was a fear we've all over come,
but we had defeated it.
Only on the outside,
With matters of the heart it's only on the outside,
Standing right down the line from me was a dream
and i repeated it over and over again.
Watching the most honest part of me die.
I missed out on being genuine and now I'm locked outside
of a life that i've watched so closely.

Studying how they built the time machine
to be so far ahead of me,
It drove me nuts to see the pavement flesh
that i'd have to walk up and down to get there

and I'm not worth you fucking time
i'll draw the line
but this time you have to cross.

It's hard to believe things are not the same.
It maybe luck or it could be love.
When we lie that's the only way.
I'll apologize but it won't mean the day.
to you apologetics are for romantics
who can't spell decay.

If i get closer to you
your eyes would glaze over like a doll
your skin of porcelain would seem more like nothing at all
and i'd much rather be alone with my mind
than take your deadlike fingers.


and I'm not worth your fucking time
i'll draw the line
but this time you have to cross.

I can't hide from something i admire
It's time to be a liar
to wait my turn
If you want me you'll come back
it will throw me off track
because I love you.

I love you.


and I'm not worth your fucking time
i'll draw the line
but this time you have to cross.

and I'm not worth your fucking time
i'll draw the line
but this time you have to cross.

always have.

Humans Simplified (Stolen)

There's only so many ways to tell you
But if you'd take your head phones off
You'd hear more than denial
In many styles and fashions.
Our catelog could contain something new

I'm speaking to the one in charge
for the over the counterclockwise pills
you've been hiding, i know,
i'm spying on you again.
So much for being friends.

But hush hush and our worlds will be together
These hearts of ours endure all kinds of whether
or the whether not
it's up to us if we should ever tie the
not the way things used to be,
our lives and lies combined
let's be something were not used to
just humans simplified

couldn't you me there hiding
all the masks from you grasp
while i'm gasping for air
tryin to pretend i know just who you are

sometime we break things we don't intend to buy
i'm guilty of this too
and sometime we forget our worth
when it's stolen and it's blue


But hush hush and our worlds will be together
These hearts of ours endure all kinds of whether
or the whether not
it's up to us if we should ever tie the
not the way things used to be,
our lives and lies combined
let's be something were not used to
just humans simplified


The truth is I've wanted something for longer than i'd hope.
You broke me cause i was useless, but now i'm useless cause i'm broke.
the best thing left to say is good riddance and goodbye
nobody communicates.
the way we used to...
the love we used to...
know.



But hush hush and our worlds will be together
These hearts of ours endure all kinds of whether
or the whether not
it's up to us if we should ever tie the
not the way things used to be,
our lives and lies combined
let's be something were not used to
just humans simplified

Finding My Way Home.

I've been listening to the patterns that my feet make
a steady beat across the pavement
when i concentrate i can still here it over the loud hum of traffic.
I like walking, that's something i've learned about myself
but there's still a long way to go before i find my way home.

I keep hearing the things i've said, those words make
a steady beat, and it's like the pavement
doesn't exist under my feet anymore. There simply too much traffic
in my head. I'm spinning trying to forgive myself
for the things that i did, the place i wrecked, a place i called home.

And I'm just trying to beat the sun to my house, something that makes
me feel like i have a goal. Making my own pavement
on a path that I must learn to walk. Somewhere i cannot hear the traffic,
somewhere that i don't feel sorry for myself
I'm finding myself.
I'm finding my way home and I'm sorry,
I'm sorry that i was never good at giving you directions.

Find Our Way Home

I feel like i'm the only one left waiting
for something to save the day
I'm hearing the kind of things i don't want
and I'm drowning in my misery

The days were colder when we parted
we fell asleep in eachothers arms
do you remember what you wore that friday?
do you remember who you said you are?

I feel like i'm the only one left waiting
for something to come and save the day
I'm watching the time and you limps ramble on
Waiting for my reflection to go away

I knew it from that moment on
but i still won't regret the past
We were starring in an empty mirror
It was 7 years when i broke the glass

I feel like i'm the only one left waiting
for something to come and save the day
I'm still waiting for your arms to catch me
I'm still hoping that some way
we'll find our way home
and we won't have to worry about tomorrow
Yes, we'll find our way home
into eachothers
We'll find home

I feel like i'm the only one left waiting

By My Side

I sit here waiting, sometimes
praying for change. Either closing
my mind or opening the same
pages. Over and over again my
reflection abandons me, but my shadow
stays by my side, it's cool shade of dark
always hanging by my side.

The breeze often flows, not through, by my side,
but i can never feel it's inspiration. Except sometimes
when I'm tangled in the thick anticipation, closing
the cellar door. Good Night, tomorrow will not wake the same.
But if you knot your left hand through the fingers of my
right hand, you'll never live in shadow.
I'll carry you from the dark.

It's hard to tell the daylight from the dark,
Laying blinded on your floor, curled dying on my side.
Everything you said means nothing, but there are sometimes
when i get tangled in your love. Closing
the cellar door behind us. For tonight we breathe the same.
But when change does not occur i cannot feel my
heart beating, and my empty lungs hide in It's shadow.

hanging over the dark i know to well.

Sometimes i feel that no one will stand by my side.

Good Night my Love. Until tomorrow i must sit her waiting.

Incognito.

It was times like that,
When i could hear the world turn.
Each breath a muse for words unwritten.
I could count her slowing heart beats intwined on this bed,
brushing her tears across her cheek.
"There is nothing to fear."

It was times like that,
When i could control the chaos.
Each word a promise, honest for the moment,
Her trusting eyes taking away every inch of pain.
Her left hand sliding between the fingers on my right.
"There is nothing to fear."

It was times like that,
when you could gaze across the universe,
Through a ceiling, through a rough.
Illuminations of the past and present, crumbling a hopeful future.
Resting her head upon my shoulder.
"There is nothing to fear."

It was times like that,
where the living saw the dead,
and the dead whispered secrets.
I'm left alone to understand.
Unless she can listen.
"There is nothing to fear."

2 Poems entitled: "Omissions"

I forgot to tell you and you're idle chatter
but you're halfway to who knows where,
it doesn't matter.
You're a pretender in the least,
a loose definition
suspending your lies with the thread of omission.

((They look so beautiful down that empty stairwell
memories look too beautiful sometimes.
Next season you'll replace them with Autumn.
Next year i'm walking to who-knows-where to find you.))

When you forget about me
and my undying confessions,
of love in the wrong places and misguided directions,
maybe we can remember who we are.
Maybe we'll remember how empty we are.
Maybe we'll go as far as to say:

((You look so beautiful, resting your head along these lies.
memories look too beautiful sometimes.
Next year we'll replace them with winter.
Why can't we forget the winter.))

I'm sorry that all good things are replaced with spring.

((Next year we we'll leave spring out)).

One day...
we'll get the better of our blunders
we won't sit around with heads filled of wonder.
We'll know what it's like to watch winter into summer.
We'll watch for their little lights,
and to a silent song we'll listen.

((It looks so beautiful when it rains here.
This is too beautiful to be a memory.
Next season we'll replace them with truth.))

Next year we'll fall asleep to the sound of lying by Omission.

Goodbye.

I'm waiting for the time to say,
the words i make, my own to know.
They seem to sound prettier,
against the paint, on my bedroom wall.

The rain on the stree tonight,
sings a different sound when it hits the cars.
Walking to your home i know,
tomorrow, no song is ours.

I know now why
that word is just so hard
I know now why
that word is just so hard.

Killing time without your touch,
seems a little much, and so it goes.
I'll keep you in my memories,
my remedies, along the road.

But i know now why
that word is just too hard
I know now why
that one word seems so hard.

Goodbye.

Walking to your home i know,
tomorrow, a song Was ours.

I'll Never Learn

I understand now what you meant
by saying sorry
but it's not my fault it's not my fault if i can't
The words you've held and held
from me
but it's not my fault it's not my fault if i can't

and i know this way it makes it better... someway
just to pretend that i never knew you like i did
someday you might figure out why it went the road it went
But i'll never learn

I'm sure now why it happened
i think
but you can't blame me for being me
now it's hard to let it go
really
but you can't blame me

and i know this way it makes it better... someway
just to pretend that i never knew you like i did
someday you might figure out why it went the road it went
But i'll never learn

it's gone, it's somewhere in my mind,
but i can never find,
what's behind my nose.
If i had to choose
i'd surely lose
all those things
that matter most

and i know this way it makes it better... someway
just to pretend that i never knew you like i did
someday you might figure out why it went the road it went
But i'll never learn

i understand now what you meant
by saying sorry
sometimes it takes some work to be in love.

The Moon Must Get Lonely.

They sit quietly in a circle,
as the time ticks agrily,
echoing it's frustration up the stairwell,
Climbing each of the floorboards with a
Stomp, a Crash, a nudge in the arm
to tell everyone of us to speak what's on our minds.
But we sit silently in a circle,
Completely ignoring how everyone else is,
the third one lays back and begins to sing
a song about stars.
pointing out a constellation or two,
she drifts all our attentions to her.
Enjoying every moment of it...
but she forgets her affection for the moon.
I go to remind her how lonely it must be...
But everyone sits silently in this circle.
I don't want to kill this.
We listen to the third ones song.
The one that we all fell in love with.
If i ever get out of here,
She's coming with me.

Wait Here

I came
To look for answers
Instead I found those lies
The ones
i fell in love with
that made me cross the lines

I held
your hand through all this struggle
As you prayed and prayed and prayed for rain
I can't
pretend to be the driver
I can't pretend it's all the same

but I will wait here for you my love

You whisper
and cry your pain in silence
To break the chills you've held so long
I drag
my toes to you my lover
and keep my sadness in my song

but i will wait here for you my love

You give
me everything i wanted
And hide everything you have
You hope
destruction is the promise
This determination drives me mad.

but i will wait here for you my love

but i will wait here for you my love

Home.

I like your smile when it's suttle,
because than i know that it's mine.
Your secret style behind the blue-green color,
That takes this touch away from time.

The skin on your face fades red,
Without breaking the silence
getting torn by the words unsaid
soundlessly lasting in resonance

I can't make it home, I won't go home this time
Without your hand.
It's the last time, The last time i try.
Before I'm broken again.

It's the way you tell me all's well
without ever possibly knowing
giving that break, that time to dwell.
Bringing me to where i'm going.

I can't make it home, I won't go home this time
Without your hand.
It's the last time, The last time i try.
Before I'm broken again.

We shouldn't be here,
but this is where we know who we are.
We never belong.
We'll hide here together,
That must be home.

I can't make it home, I won't go home this time
Without your hand.
It's the last time, The last time i try.
Before I'm broken again.
Take me to where we don't belong.

Still Breathing

I can't tell the difference between these feelings
I can't tell today
I can't tell the simple things from difficult
I can't tell today
but all that i know is there's someone
all that i know is that someone will look my way

I don't feel any different now that i'm older
I don't feel okay
I don't like pretending i can handle this
I don't like today
but all that i know is there's someone
all that i know is that someone will look my way

and even when were screaming for the things we lost
even when our hearts stop beating
i know that you'll just hold me in your arms and say
that "i'm still breathing
for you"

You think that I'll never be there
You think that i've changed
I was once so worried about trusting
I was once the same
but all that i know is there's someone
all that i know is that someone will look my way

and even when were screaming for the things we lost
even when our hearts stop beating
i know that you'll just hold me in your arms and say
that "i'm still breathing
for you"

and even when were screaming for the things we lost
even when our hearts stop beating
i know that you'll just hold me in your arms and say
that "i'm still breathing
for you"

Just know that i'm breathing
for you.

And. Silence.

And down the sidewalk,
beaneath the trees,

Silence.

As the mist,
and the rain, proclaim
that the flame that once was,
will smolder,
it's passion growing older
along the sewers and sidewalks.

A rain drop, a river, or a tiny shore,
Whatever ever you fathom, muse, or ignore
Just pouring it's guts through the drains of forever more...
and it's all I have:

To hold, To witness, to try to ignite,
the same guilty, nautious feelings that i felt that night
all through the storm.
Before.
Pouring it's insides through the skies of forever more.

And your eyes in this disguise,
that i despise in the rain.
Have saved me from my life,
and taught me through the grave.
I figure i should warn,
before,
you reach the core,
of what's pouring it's blood through these veins...
forever more.

Forever more.
Forever more.
Forever more.

Silence.

Pulse

It's steady.
At least When you're around,
but the rush is sometimes misunderstood.
...i guess i can wait another day.
Maybe it's better if i sleep.
Maybe i can kiss you in my dreams.
Without that feeling,
Rejection.
Why are you still here.
You have assured and assured again.
But somehow this fate is still up to the stars.
The ones that tell my story.
About how the sun walks,
or how the moon talks.
And how they chase eachother until day becomes night,
and night becomes...
Rejection.
I need to know involuntary again.
Too fast, and the heart falls to pieces.
Too late like the ghosts soon to be...
Rejected.

You can count on that.

I'm mixed up when I'm breathing lust
for shit i've learned to dread.
I lose track and get bored
with the storage system in my head.
and all the words she says can strangle all that's left for self-esteam
I've failed the test that seeks for evidence of if she's listening.

I waste time when resting my eyes
but i sleep for the cause
She's out there where nobody cares
she knows it's not her loss
and it takes away the fundamental status quo to be
as i pretend to be the everything, of what she asks of me

I know in dreams you feel nothing
but nightmares alway bring you pain
I know thet kisses give you luck
but your life is screwed if you get fucked
at least that's what they say.
you can count on that anyway.

I've been sure that i have no worth
to anyone with hands
I know love means nothing at all
without the bullet cans
but she drags on all her past to the present as if there were no years
she doesn't know the things i whisper when she neglects the sounds she hears

I know in dreams you feel nothing
but nightmares alway bring you pain
I know thet kisses give you luck
but your life is screwed if you get fucked
at least that's what they say.
you can count on that anyway.

I know in dreams you feel nothing
but nightmares alway bring you pain
I know thet kisses give you luck
but your life is screwed if you get fucked
at least that's what they say.
you can count on that anyway.

i do have 2 coming

i just haven't had time to edit/post, i will post posibly on thursday...

Sometimes we forget...

We forget who we are when we forget we're walking.
Or how to walk even.
Or how to talk even.
We slur and stammer and the wind takes us away.
We forgot about that summers day.
It was too hot to move and the breeze felt more like pressure.
I didn't want to go where it was taking me.
I wanted to stand still, but i forgot how.

We forget who we are when we forget that we're sleeping.
Or how to sleep even.
Or how to dream even.
We forget to build hopes and the sun burns our future.
We forget about a lazy afternoon.
It was not oour typical deja vu and the psychic sense was more like tingling.
I didn't want to know what was happening.
I wanted to be dumb, but i forgot how.

We forget who we are when we forget that we're dying.
Or how to die even.
Or how to end even.
We forget that the conclusion is less important than the climax.
We forget about a summers evening filled with stars.
It was not our idea to lose face in the midst of all this anxiety.
I didn't want to be dead.
I wanted to be alive, in your eyes, but i forget how.

Aim and Snap

Aim and Snap,
Aim and Snap,
These pictures tell something about us.
I found one today.
You never knew that i kept this one.
It's a shame the world was just passing by behind us.
It's funny to see how it turned out.
No,
it's not funny at all.

Aim and Snap,
Aim and Snap,
we couldn't have cared any less at the time.
Every time the sun set we photographed a world of closed eyes.
And on a night like tonight,
your smile is unforgettable, especially when you hide in it.

Aim and Snap,
Aim and Snap,
Aim and Snap,
Aim and Snap.
People forget that this can lead to denile,
and denile is a whole mess of faces and ideas we're just not ready for.
So we walk down this road.
Camera in hand.
It's been used before.
Many eyes, Many Lies.
Who was i kidding.

She Knows Exactly

She speaks in tongues.
Writing graffiti on the walls of hell,
She knows exactly how to kill me.

She gestures in rythm,
cause it's impossible to rhyme.
She knows exactly how to kill me.

She recites her lyrical hit list with a feather in her hat
In hopes to get my attention,
In hopes that she can sway my mind for the good of mankind.
She's an artist and an activist.

She uses her talents against my ill-witted soul.
She knows exactly how to kill me.
She waits for a sign,
For the light to hit just right.
She knows exactly how to kill me.

On a friday night while the others plan out their pathetic lives
She lurks in the corner of a room,
belonging to a day dream skeptic.
She knows exactly how to kill me.
She's an angel, and she's doing what's best,


.......but she doesn't know i'm already dead.

My Whole World Was Bliss...

Maybe i'm not ready for all this,
I just want it to slow down.
We were kids once,
and as kids it meant everything.
Do you even care anymore?
For awhile i was standing on top of the slide feeling like the king of the world,
I just wanted to hear you laugh.
That sound to my ears was a dream,
it made my knees weak, and falling down the slide was my whole world.
My whole world was bliss.
Of Course those three seconds of free fall took so much time when i was younger,
now,
three seconds is too short.
By the time i climb to the top again,
That brat on the monkey bars will be making you cry.
I never realized than,
that it was never about making you laugh
It was about proctecting you...
Maybe i'm not ready for this,
I just want it to slow down,
We were kids once,
and we held hands during that trip across the park.
That's is something i'll never forget.

Under The Oak Tree

We seemed to stay quiet about those moments under the oak tree,
but I know it was not the branches that had sworn us to secrecy,
It was a seed planted by our own wicked minds, and a guilty conscience...
For what exactly.
The leaves never exactly violated us,
The leaves were more a consolation,
The leaves perhaps saved our lives more than once.
But the first we blamed is a tree.
"Damn you for growing here.
Surely you could have picked a better spot."
The things that happened under the oak tree were for us,
it was either our fault for getting there,
or it was our fault for leaving.
All i want is to go back and lay under the shade for awhile.
When you are ready to admit you loved everything about those moments,
the Oak will be expecting an apology.

Fool On The Floor

At Night i Feel the Cold,
It burns in a way that some might call satisfying,
I call it pointless.
I blame the bedroom walls... and the ceiling,
the doors, and the windows,
for a world less meaningful than those made in movies.
But i would never even bother the floor.
It spends most of the day being walked on...
it doesn't need to soak in my shit.
I've heard you breathing hear,
"I still have many secrets in this place.
Will you ever bother to ask?"
A whisper of trickery no doubt,
Ha, and you thought me a fool

.....well i'll admit it.
I am, I'm your bloody fool and i'm sick of it.
But the bedroom floor is never gunna say it to your face.

Goodnight...

Shit Hits The Fan

Last night you forgot your f*ckin' manners
Last night you forgot to say hello
This years not over til tomorrow
There's still enough time to forget to grow

Last night your lips fell off the table
Last night you left me for the fall
Last night your smile kept me disabled
Last year was to long to count at all

So this is it, this is what it's like
To take on the world everynight
I thought this time that you might get it
I've never been Mr. Right

Last night i decided to break the strings
Last night the the things i touched were ruined
Last year i was forced to clean my broken wings
This years flight, it crashed, i'm screwed.

So this is it, this is what it's like
to know when to throw the fight
I thought i'd never understand
I've never been Mr. Right

Last night you built this fence
Last you ditched me on right angle road
Last night i choked on my words
Last year it was the fault of my own

So this is it, this is what it's like
to bleed from fingers you write
it's time that you take a look around
I've never been Mr. Right

Last night i kept a word or two myself
Last night you killed some bloody time
Last night we skipped through photo albums
Last year i commited suicide.

Last night it was in the wrong place
Last night i was the right man
Last night the words were erased
Last night the Shit hit the Fan

The Things That Only I Know

The snow that fell on a sunday afternoon,
The laughing (like a song) cutting through your room,
lying dead, falling slow.

In the front yard, i wrote some promises and words,
I professed my knowledge for the absence of birds,
and it was quiet as my writings sank in the snow.

But by and by i heard my name
and the things that i just couldn't say
the things that only i know.


Some hot chocolate and bad cinema
your window views the boulevard
where a fire hydrant marks the spot

exchanging whispers to myself
the nervous ticks all day i felt
"playing with the hand that fate has delt."
The dreams you had...... maybe not.

But by and by i heard my name
and the things that i just couldn't say
the things that only i know.

To them i'm just the enemy
to us it was a battery
the power behind the light in our hands

the frozen breaths melting in my mouth
my hands hanging to the south
no room left for doubt
shooting stars are in high demand

But by and by i heard my name
and the things that i just couldn't say
the things that only i know.

Primavera

Stars seem more distant now.
Wonder why you never noticed.
I was so controlled by the tide
and the clicks and clanks on the dock.
I wonder how you never noticed.
How the leaves on the trees
seemed to whisper in the breeze, "tomorrow"
How their breaths seemed to skim across the lake,
singing songs about us,
the kind of songs that only water knows about,
still amazes me how you never noticed.
How the breeze left your hair just right
before everything was dead silent
and only the sounds of night were allowed.
Why aren't you noticing?
How the moon illuminates your soft skin of porcelain,
How it echoes in your eyes,
How it rests on the wake of this restless primavera
and rolls towards us.

You look at me, and the fact that i experience this,
this true nights romance,
trying the footprints to imprint and resonate in your mind...
goes unnoticed,
makes me last another day.
Just so i can prove something to you.

Like That.

You were sleeping than...
winter was over
and the sun peeked through your window
resting its light on your face
i envied each ray,
it's graceful touch sliding across your skin

even though this room was closed
a birds chirp echoed through the stillness
my silence kept you sleeping

I watched you breath
inhale
exhale
and soon our breaths joined

I felt our heartbeats. The Same.
the rythm.
the rising tension
the quick release.
the building suspense.
the relief.

Than softly, sweetly...
movement.
A Yawn.
Breath Sperates.
Hearts Race.
Don't wake!

But calmly you bury you head in my shoulder.
Breathing becomes one.
and pulses interwind.
A pain lingers in my chest, a kind that doesn't hurt.
I can't understand it.
But
Keep me guessing

Just
Like
That.

Still

Yes.
You wanted to know if i was real,
or maybe it was someone else
from the vague discriptions displayed in your letter
I can tell that you will never even find real in yourself.
Whether it was about me or not
the skies opinion should never matter
The clouds whisper can never defeat the determination of heart.
The rain that night can forever leave my memory!
But you chose to run barefoot
to sink in the grass
leave these footprints on my mind.
Run you fingers through the mud.
Just so YOU could feel something.
...don't ask me if i'm real
As if you couldn't tell by the dirt beneath your fingertips.
An illusion.
As soon as the blisters healed you forgot everything.
A disease you passed to me.
An infection to the brain.
Killing all my willingness to give a damn!
Staring at the stars we must have known
that this "train wreck" in the distance
was us.
but who knows, maybe one day the wind will meet your back.

Goodbye To You My Friend

I'll say goodbye to you and me
but only if this memory
stays in side my mind forever

of all the things that we have done
and all the things we've over come
theirs not a day i won't remember

cause if you must go
i won't try to change you mind
i think you already know
what you'll leave behind
i hope we'll meet again someday
but there's something i gotta say
before you are on your way....


i could not have done this without you
to tell me where i was goin wrong
i could not have done this without you
to be all the words to our song
I don't know where i'll be going
or even if i'll meet you at the end
but i just wanted to say before you go away
goodbye to you my friend

Desiree

I can't believe you're leaving here
and i can't close my eyes no more
you were the music throughout these years
and i just can't write you any more

but when i close my arms
there's something i can feel
without you it's still real
and when i wake alone this way
i know you would have loved a day like today
Desiree

you didn't pack, you left these behind
a t-shirt and some cigerette's
a photgraph of where you went
when you said goobye
i never knew exactly what you meant

and than i closed my eyes
there was something i could feel
the pain was just to real
and when i woke this way
i wondered why it had to be today
Desiree

and even if there is no god
i know you're watching over my life you see
i promised to give you everything i've got
i swear i can feel you in every part of me

but when i close my arms
there's something i can feel
without you it's still real
and when i wake alone this way
i know you would have loved a day like today
i'll follow you across sky someday
Desiree

Welcome To The New Year

She never knew what i meant by that.
counting my swear words,
choosing them wisely.
What eyes to rest on the air behind my head
I am not hear
and i'm certain that my articulation never
made it to the scene either.
what i wanted to say she never heard
and what she listened for were words i never spoke.
She'll never know...
We lay there on the ice,
and i must have whispered i love you a thousand times,
but with each breath the wind carried my whispers to the stars
which, i guess, in any case was true.
I've always had a deep fascination with stars....
I've always had a deep frustration with love.
My face froze that night.
I hope she didn't see me cry,
I hope she never sees me cry.

You'll Never Know

There are a number of things you laugh about
and you'll never know the difference.
The soft tones of truth
telling you to leave this world and fly with me
like a tail behind the stars.
You hesitate your answer back
a game to see who has wit,
but i'll stop you where you tell those lies.
No one knows the difference
Infact it's shocking how little people know about there own truths.
"Little did he know" that the phrase it self was what he was missing,
You must have forgot what i was REALLY saying....
you must have taken it different,
who cares really....
i guess i'll try again in my sleep if you dare to meet me there.
I know you think i swallowed pride whole
but lets just take a step back and remember who you're dealing with....
there are a number of things you laugh about,
and you'll never know the difference.